Lately even though I know im happy, i still can’t find myself to laugh, or smile, or be excited about anything. I know i am happy, or should be.. I have a great life lately and i should be proud because its better then it usually is. Me and my mom arent fighting, i have an amazing boyfriend, but i don’t know why i still walk around and can’t show it to everyone. When i smile, it feels like so much work, when i laugh its shocking. I don’t understand why its this way. Maybe im too used to being upset and showing everyone different. Maybe i just need to find ways to be happy and smile. I know for a fact things are going good and i am happy on the inside, i just wish that i could show that on the outside instead of that girl who walks down the hall with a straight face everyday listening to her music in both ears, and focusing on nothing but thoughts. I need to work on this, i need to finally let myself be happy. Things are good, i need to remember that .